40 Things to do When I am 40

As I previously mentioned, I made a bucket list of sorts when I was approaching 40.  Everyone likes lists and I thought this was a good idea to capture some things I wanted to accomplish in my life. My progress to-date has been nothing short of pathetic.   Actually, as I transcribed the list, I realized what a horrible idea this was.  In the short time that has passed since, I have already forgot why I thought many of these things sounded like a good idea.  To take it further, a lot of them feel like chores.  I won't bore you with the entire list, but some of the highlights are below:

4.  Get a Physical - Everyone in my family dies of cancer.  I guess I better visit Dr Jellyfinger.

5.  Run at least 4 marathons - I ran one in a personal worst 5 hours.  It sucked.  I hate training.  I think I have a better chance of going on a second date with Dr Jellyfinger.
 

16.  Wear shorts and sandals at least 183 days - I knocked this one out of the park.  This may be the one goal I actually accomplished.  I have a badge of honor on my feet – a tan line from my flip flops.  I was so proud of it I showed my client.  I am not sure they were equally impressed.

 

18.   Take a picture of at least one of my family members daily - Fail.  I take more pictures of complete strangers in the airport.  I do ask my wife to send me naked pictures but that hasn’t worked out so well either.
 

20.    Take a class - I am pretty sure I can’t learn anymore.  If you don't count things I picked up on ESPN or HGTV, I haven't learned anything new in about 15 years.  This seems futile.

21.   Seek out a mentor - I really don’t even like people so this seems like a bad idea. I don’t think I can fake interest in learning from someone else’s success.  I am bitter.
 

28.    Cook at least 2 meals per month - pfft… I have been married to my wife for almost 19 years.  I have cooked maybe 3 times and that includes hot dogs and spaghetti.  I am going to pretend like this one never existed.
 

31.   Have sex in a location other than bedroom at least 1 time per month - If this includes sex by myself then I am doing pretty good here.  Maybe if I was more successful at #28 this one would have more potential.
 

33.  Volunteer at my kids’ school at least 2 days - and shoot myself with a nail gun.  I love my kids.  I don’t love 300 other kids that aren’t mine.  I actually did volunteer one day and it was the most exhausting things I ever did.  I got home at 3:30pm and went straight to bed.  In my opinion summers are not long enough for teachers to "recover".
 

36.     Go to the dentist and eye doctor for regular check-ups - This goes along with #4.  I suck at actually taking care of myself. I actually wear my daily contacts until my eyes bleed.  I think I am on the same box I was prescribed in 2009.  I did give myself a "self-check" on the kitchen counter the other day (see #31).
 

38.  Work away from the office at least 60% of the time - Done.  I hate the office.  Alief and the hum from circling HPD helicopters is soothing.  Here is the view from my office.

 

 

So I have learned my lesson - no more lists.  Well maybe one more:
 

1. Win PowerBall tonight - This is a blog in itself but for anyone that says money can't buy you happiness likely doesn't have money. 

 

By the way, I hit the road Sunday night.  I hate traveling for work on Sunday, so I will be extra bitter and on the lookout for people that annoy me.  Enjoy.