Hello World

I really have no business trying to write a blog since my only experience with writing is a few short poems I was coerced to write in the 4^th grade.  I recently found that collection of poems in a box in the attic and I my subjects were a dead rabbit, a snake trying to strike it’s keeper through a glass wall, and the death of a grandmother (not mine since both were still alive and kicking at the time they were written).  I have no idea what horrible childhood experiences I suppressed that caused me to write these things, but I don’t have the time, money or interest to find out. 

I have a number of motivations for writing this blog.  First, when I turned 40 (plenty more on that later).  I wrote a bucket list of things I wanted to do in the 365 days to follow. Writing a book was one of those items.  That was almost 2 years ago and I am 2 paragraphs into a blog.  That pretty much sums up my 40's so far...  Second, I picked up a book in an airport written by a comedian that received positive reviews.  The book started out funny (I was driven to tears at one point) but then quickly dissolved into stories of depression and shitting his pants numerous times, even into adulthood.  I thought that book really sucked and felt I could do better.   Finally, I travel a lot.  I see a lot of people and strange situations.  I started capturing these things on my Facebook statuses and received some positive feedback on my dry, sarcastic and sometime cruel humor.  It made me regret that I didn't have more Facebook friends (or real friends for that matter) to entertain.

So here it goes.  If you recognize yourself in this blog please don’t take it personally.  I am probably making fun of you all the time. This is just the first time I am writing it down.  For example, my friends Sean and Dane posed for a picture recently and posted it on Facebook.  I had a lot of inappropriate thoughts about the picture, but one I shared was how they looked like the conjoined twins from the Guinness Book of World Records.  I then obsessed whether it was politically correct to use the term Siamese Twins.  I didn't care so much that Sean and Dane were playing grab ass.  That is pretty much how my brain works all the time.  I see things in every day activities that perhaps most people would just ignore.  I use them as opportunities to make fun others (and myself).

Whether you like or hate this blog, check back (and share) often.  I will try to keep my posts light and brief (something more than 140 words and less than 14,000).